Brothers and Sisters, I am here today to discuss a most pressing topic.
Mormon Action Figures.
What are we, as a Stake of Apostates, to do about this?
They are going so far as ….fast food toys from the 90s to spread their message. They have really pulled out all the stops.
The real question I have is: Which action should Apostake members buy?
The selection of villains is very limited. Not unlike the selection of non-white Mormon characters. Laman, Lemuel, and King Noah are the only real options and we are not fans of their actions, right?
Perhaps we can make action figures out of fairly well known Mormons who have resigned or become inactive. In the early Church that would include Oliver Cowdery, Ann Eliza Young (an ex-wife of Brigham Young), and Senator Frank Cannon. In Hollywood that would include people like Ryan Gosling, Eliza Dushku, and Ryan Gosling. In government that would include Senator Marco Rubio.
Hell, let us make action figures out of ourselves for all I care.
As long as we can use outdated toys to slyly indoctrinate children into our belief system.