Ever wonder what it might be like to travel back in time and change the past? How about traveling back in time and changing the past while remaining in your current space-time continuum?
Introducing the all-new Church-approved miracle: static time travel!
Using state-of-the-art Prophesying, a member can now retroactively alter history simply by saying that they disavow it!
Has a dead Prophet said something suspicious or immoral about the premortal existence that you would like to see changed?
Bring it up in the next Church meeting and perhaps your wish will come to pass!
Latter-day Saint leaders have done this not too long ago.
For a long time in Church history and theology, interracial marriage was forbidden. This made sense because all non-whites were less faithful in the premortal existence than white people. This is how humanity received its diversity in pigmentation: moral aptitude in the premortal existence. President Joseph Fielding Smith, who was a Mormon Prophet a while back, explicitly stated that “there is a reason why one man is born black and with other disadvantages, while another is born white with great advantages. The reason is that we once had an estate before we came here, and were obedient; more or less, to the laws that were given us there.”1
But wait! Recently, as the Church was trying to adapt to a society with an African-American president, it released a statement explaining its True stance on racism.
It disavows the racism it has perpetuated throughout eternity.2
Oh, ok. That is fine. ‘Long as you disavow it. This solves everything!
This makes a huge difference to all of the dead people who have never received the Priesthood because of their race or those who had marital problems or those who were taught that they were second-class members.
But now hold on a second…
I thought Jesus Christ was the “same yesterday, today, and forever”?3
I thought that “premortal existence” referred to a period of time (or non-time?) long before Adam and Eve?
I thought that we are supposed to take the word of the Prophet seriously in all things, that they speak directly for God?
As it stands, it seems as though Jesus Christ evolves in accordance with changes in America. Perhaps it is a matter of time before the Church disavows the scriptural verse that says He is unchanging.
Perhaps, the Church is only scurrying away from its previous stance in an attempt to salvage its image.
…No, that cannot be true. What must be true is that Jesus Christ is the same person eternally, but through the magic of static time travel, Mormon Prophets are able to change how Jesus Christ really was throughout history.
The disavowal Work should not end with Church racism.
I implore Mormon missionaries throughout the globe to disperse this mechanism as far and wide as possible.
Get it to the Neo-Nazi skinheads. They have as little to do with real Nazis as the Mormon Church has to do with the Christian Church, but deliver this function to them and see the blessings appear!
Jews who have died will start magically reappearing everywhere. Same with black people, homosexuals, and all others who did not make the Ubermensch count. The Nazis would no longer be remembered in history as racists, but as ordinary, common men doing the work of Good.
Just through a few words!
1. Joseph Fielding Smith, Doctrines of Salvation, Volume 1, 61.
2. “Race and the Priesthood”. http://www.lds.org/topics/race-and-the-priesthood?lang=eng.
3. Hebrews 13:8.